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Photo by Koshu Kunii on Unsplash

I remember hearing this phrase in association with Marie-Antoinette. She didn’t say it, by the way — but it has become associated with her nonetheless. Basically, it is a simple, often thoughtless solution to a complex and real problem. People are starving for bread? Let them eat cake! The result of this disconnect is greater division and hatred. This has been weighing on me lately — this growing tide of disconnected and easy solutions to complex problems. I wonder if we have become a culture of quick fixes, platitudes, and lazy outrage. It is easy to apply disgust to current…

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I watched two shows this year that affected me deeply. The first, and try not to roll your eyes, was called “The Haunting of Hill House.” It was pretty brave of me because I grew up very religious, and even though I’m an Athiest now, part of me still believes in the Devil. Anyway, the series wasn’t what I expected and I have found myself thinking about it fairly often throughout the year. The part that comes to mind now is an idea regarding what it means to be a parent. In the series, the mother is tortured by the…

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Photo by Kevin Wenning on Unsplash

My mom was cremated when she died. At first, I liked the idea. It was clean, free from what I imagined to be defilement from decay. But as the years edged on, I found myself longing for some concrete place to connect with her. I envied people who had graves to visit. We spread my mom’s ashes in Hawaii — a world away from where I am. The handful of dust I threw into the ocean air seemed no more significant than the sand on the beach. It was fine. And small. And blew into nothingness within seconds. All of…

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Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

Feeling uncertain can feel like wearing a blindfold. Every step is measured — even when someone who can see clearly is giving instructions. I think of it like this: If I were blindfolded at the top of a building and was told to trust a guide to lead me around the edge of the roof, even though I knew my guide could see where I was going and keep me safe, I am sure I would be absolutely paralyzed with fear. This is what trying to make a decision feels like for some people. What if I can’t trust the…

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Photo by Gades Photography on Unsplash

I had dinner with a friend last night. She has been happily married for 10 years — and even though she loves her husband and he is a good friend and partner, she questions the sanity of marriage. We had a long discussion about it. About what makes sense and what doesn’t. It’s an interesting topic, marriage. It’s complex — encapsulating social constructs, religious sanctity, and deeply ingrained ideology regarding the nature of love. There are many things I love about the idea of marriage: sharing life, solidarity, sexual and emotional fulfillment. But those things are all part of a…

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And that was the moment I opened my eyes

I was the sticky yellow substance inside an egg.

something meant for more than what I was

Something that was supposed to grow — contained and nurtured

But freed too soon — I was a runny

boundless thing. Lacking form.

A mistake.

I remember before — when I was thought.

I was contained in the imagination of my maker

limitless in potential, eternal in pleasure.

I was the embodiment of pure blue sky

Stretching for miles and miles

One hand on the mountain top, the other cradling the ocean floor

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Photo by Will O on Unsplash

There are a lot of reasons people stay in relationships that are unhealthy. There are those who can’t see a way out without creating a worse situation. There are those who have come to believe they are worthless and are somehow deserving of whatever abuse is being inflicted. There are some who have children and fear losing them, traumatizing them further, or breaking up their families. But the reason I want to explore today is the idea of empathy. I wonder if, in our attempts to understand our partners, we forget our obligations to ourselves.

I heard a Ted Talk…

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Photo by Paul Bulai on Unsplash

It was an innocent mistake. The boys wanted a room just like Harry Potter’s cupboard. Mom indulged them with a special desk tucked in the back corner of the closet under the stairs. She had studied the frozen screen image in the first movie and tried to replicate it exactly. Exactly down to the candle in the corner. The boys loved it.

Mary babysat early that day. She was a good sister, and the boys wanted to play Harry Potter. They made a poster of spells and taped it on the wall above the candle. “Alohamora! Open the door.” Mary…

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Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Laying in bed last night, my boyfriend asked me if it was true that women wanted men to be more dominant in the bedroom. He had read an article about it and wanted to know 1. if it were true, and 2. what it meant. It’s a good question. Here is what we talked about and the conclusions I came to.

My first inner reaction to the question was “yes.” And honestly, my mind went to the episode on “Friends” when Ross and Rachel are talking in her bedroom about her ex-boyfriend Paulo and how he was just meaningless animal-sex…

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Photo by Miti on Unsplash

_______________________________________________ 13

When the worlds between us spin

In circles round our lips

Enclosing us in atmospheres

That shudder round our hips

I lose my sense of space, instead

Entwined in threaded night

That holds my hand to yours

In shutters, gasps, and sightless sight

Render in me speechless

all the words that fall like prey

To the folding time between us

Mouth to mouth knit night to day.

_______________________________________ 14

What would happen if a woman spoke

The truths that have been bound to her

For centuries

What if the tight-lipped sigh

Became the howl of midnight

Shaking the…

Rebekah Hayden

I am an intervention coordinator at a large Title 1 middle school. I care deeply about people and I like to find solutions if I can. Life is hard. Let's be kind

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