Saipanhayden – Medium

Saipanhayden

A conversation with grief

The sun is behind the mountains — lighting the sky, and pushing against the sturdy shadow of rock. It’s beautiful.

3 min readApr 9, 2024

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A conversation with grief

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Saipanhayden

The grief of moving on

Grief is a ghost I can never quite manifest completely

1 min readFeb 4, 2024

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The grief of moving on

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Saipanhayden

My haunted house

Photo by Ján Jakub Naništa on Unsplash

15 min readNov 7, 2023

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My haunted house

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Saipanhayden
in
Shelter Me

Self-abandonment: I’m the villain

“You yourself told us that in the final analysis we are our own betrayers, playing Judas to our own Christ” ― Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita…

6 min readMay 26, 2023

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Self-abandonment: I’m the villain

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Saipanhayden
in
Hello, Love

When I read about love…

Photo by Michael Fenton on Unsplash

2 min readMar 2, 2023

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When I read about love…

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Saipanhayden

“What I love” project for

The week before my daughter died, she asked me to compile a list of 100 things I love — and why. She gave explicit instructions. She had a…

6 min readFeb 18, 2023

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“What I love” project for

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Saipanhayden

My daughter’s Ashes

1 min readFeb 18, 2023

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My daughter’s Ashes

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Saipanhayden

Loss

I have hollowed out the hull

1 min readNov 9, 2022

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Loss

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Saipanhayden

Untangling power and submission

It seems that I usually find the trail of breadcrumbs leading to my destination after I’ve already arrived. Oddly, something about that is…

5 min readOct 31, 2022

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Untangling power and submission

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Saipanhayden

What to do with pain

I took my daughter to the ER today. The ambulance came and I rode with her to the hospital. I watched as they moved her in a chair towards…

3 min readOct 12, 2022

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What to do with pain

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Saipanhayden

Saipanhayden

I am an assistant principal at a small middle school. I care deeply about people and I like to find solutions if I can. Life is hard. Let's be kind

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