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How to make decisions when you are uncertain
Feeling uncertain can feel like wearing a blindfold. Every step is measured — even when someone who can see clearly is giving instructions. I think of it like this: If I were blindfolded at the top of a building and was told to trust a guide to lead me around the edge of the roof, even though I knew my guide could see where I was going and keep me safe, I am sure I would be absolutely paralyzed with fear. This is what trying to make a decision feels like for some people. What if I can’t trust the directions? What if I can’t trust the people in my life telling me to move forward? What if making a mistake poses a huge risk? In short, what do I do when I just don’t know what to do?
One response to uncertainty is what I call “cliff jumping.” Cliff jumpers respond to uncertainty by jumping in the deep end. They are often led by their gut, choosing a course of action and following it through with abandon. They are people who are generally highly adaptive. For them, the risk of a bad decision is not as daunting because they are masters of reinvention — one mistake leads to another opportunity. There is merit to this approach, though it can also cause a lot of wasted time and heartache. I am a cliff jumper. There have been times when it has really paid off. For example, I lived for three years on a small island in the South Pacific as a single mom, teaching middle school. It…